Something just drives me crazy...

So in my life. I always have something gong on. However I always revolves around one person's extra curricular activities. I love him and I am so glad he has found something he is passionate about, however, I would love be even be able to be a quarter passionate about it. I just am burnout with every weekend and every conversation revolving around this. I would love to have that fire back. But I've lost my fire for many things. I'm in a searching phase of life. A searching phase for me. I have made my husband my identity and I am somehow have just been okay with being in the background, waiting. With my new job, I don't even know what to tell people about me, other then school, because that's the only thing I have individually identified with. I'm passionate about reading books, however, I've been told I do it too much. And I've been put down about it, so I withdrew. However, he wants to practice practice practice and I have to deal with it. All I do is sit waiting. Left with this stress.

And his easiness with it all.

However, this stress has caused my uneasiness. This stress has pressured on my brain, slowly and effectively becoming the largest headache, that does not go away with any amount of ibuprofen. I want to just have one day celebrate me and my accomplishments. However I can't be aside that happens once every few months. Forever stream of his wonderfulness.

How do you live up to the hype of your husband making people see that you are worthy of everything he has to offer. I'd like to think that I've only shown a fourth of everything I offer. That I just haven't reached that point yet. And no one truly knows what happens behind closed doors. As great as we can all be, I know that all of us reach that preverbal asshole point, mostly done in the private of our own homes.

Things we say, how we say them, words poorly chosen. This just adds to the negative aspects of our identities.

Sticks and stones. The lesson we have been taught since birth.

I do not regret anything in my life. I do not regret decisions I have made. I love my husband and I love that he is the one that is who my forever is.